Organic Frosted Flakes

Drew Matzen has a box of organic Frosted Flakes.

I’ll pause for a moment to let that sink in.

Drew Matzen has a box of organic Frosted Flakes. That means someone was thinking, “You know, I like these Frosted Flakes, but they are just so unhealthy for you. I’ll make them from all organic material, that way they will be healthy and I won’t feel shameful when I eat breakfast.” First of all, when I think of a healthy breakfast I never think of cereal. I don’t care what cereal you are eating. I don’t care if it is oat flakes laced with calcium and Vitamin D, chunks of shredded fiber, two scoops of raisons, with low fat Vitamin C milk. The fact is, you are eating a bowl of cereal. It’s the same bowl of cereal that is advertised by a flamboyant tiger. Even if you’re eating Kix, which are Kid tested and Mother approved, you still sprinkle sugar on the top. And then drink the sugar infested milk at the end.

Sidenote: I would never put sugar into a glass of milk if I was just regularly drinking a glass of milk. But when I get to the bottom of a bowl of Rice Krispies where I have ten granules of sugar for every Krispie, I am lapping up that milk. Or the poser chocolate milk at the bottom of Count Chocula. Never would I think about making chocolate milk by place crisped rice into it. But when it’s at the bottom of the cereal bowl, man.

Back to the point. If you wanted to eat a healthy Frosted Flake, you would eat a Corn Flake. Because, honestly, all a Frosted Flake is, is a sugar coated Corn Flake. Now, the very few times I’ve ever eaten a bowl of Corn Flakes, I’ve sprinkled sugar on. Basically making homemade Frosted Flakes, with better tasting milk at the end.

Now, I asked Drew Matzen why he was in possession of a box of organic Frosted Flakes. His reason was, “Because they’re good.” I tried one of the organic Frosted Flakes. It was exactly the same as a regular Frosted Flake. So this is how I believe organic Frosted Flakes came into existence:

Two guys are sitting at a table with a bowl of Frosted Flakes. First guy says, “What are selling this crap for, like, five dollars a box? How can we make it ten dollars a box without doing anything different?” The second guy says, “We can write ‘Organic’ on the box.” “Done!”

I want to see the organic cartoon tiger that’s going to advertise this crap.

To be perfectly honest, I really have a hard time recalling when the last time I had a bowl of cereal was. I don’t understand why the cartoon leprechaun and cartoon rabbit are not allowed to eat their cereals, but the coco puff bird and the smacks frog need their cereal like a meth addict begging for a fix. The rabbit doesn’t even get to eat his own yogurt. I want to meet the genius who discovered that if you mix Coco Puffs and Peanut Butter Crunch, you can package it as Reese’s Puffs. I think if I was to get back to eating cereal, I would go for either Smacks or Corn Puffs, or the Rice Krispie Treat cereal. A bowl of cereal cannot replace a good plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. But you can't advertise bacon and eggs with a flamboyant cartoon tiger with an annoying catch phrase.

LOST-2/26-The Life and Death of Jeremy Benthem

Hello my name is Terry O'Quinn and this is the episode I am submitting to the Emmy committee.
This episode throws another twist into a long ranging battle between Ben Linus and Charles Widmore. On one hand, I want to trust Charles Widmore and believe that Ben Linus is the villain. Ben helped lead the purge against Dharma, Widmore says Ben tricked him into leaving, and as we see at the end it see at the end, the Island does not want Ben back. It could make sense that Widmore wants to protect the Island and Ben is making it very difficult. But I really want to believe Ben. I want to believe that Ben is the good guy. I want to believe that Ben is trying his hardest to do the right thing and keep the Island safe. But who to believe!?
Ben kills Abaddon in a Pulp Fiction "I just shot Marvin in the face"-esque killing. Ben also kills Locke in a "Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes"-esque killing. Now something I found interesting is that Ben didn't seem like he wanted to kill Locke into Locke told him that Jin was still alive. Ben only needs one person to want to go back to the Island to get the others, is telling Sun about Jin his plan? And does Ben believe if he gets the people back to the Island instead of Locke he can take his place as leader again?
Whats up with the new castaways/red shirts on the Hydra Island. I knew Hydra would come into to play again, but it seems that the Oceanic 6 landed in the seventies with an active Dharma Initiative. Why is the Hydra island deserted? And did the Dharma folk see the plane crash? A plane crash that looks as if the plane just lightly sat down on the Island. And Lapidus took the flight manifest and took off with a woman. What woman? Could it be Sun? Does the Island realize that Sun left her child in Korea and Jin wants her to stay safe.
I read next weeks press release and it said that Horace Godspeed would be returning, so I want to repeat my thoughts that Charlotte is Horace's daughter.

Oscars 2008

I mean, The Slumdog Millionaire Show with special guest Kate Winslet.
Lets first talk about the winners. Unfortionately I haven't been able to see most of this years nominees so I was going in with a little bit of haze. Last years winner, No Country for Old Men, is now one of my favorite movies. Slumdog pulled through all night long. I guess that wasn't much of a surprise. Another award that wasn't much of a surprise was Heath Ledger for Best Supporting Actor. I was probley one of the few people in America who was not rooting for Heath Ledger. Personally I wanted Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder. Not that Ledger didn't do a good job, but I think if he wouldn't have died there would not have been so much attention on his performance. I think that the best performance in Dark Knight came from Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon. One of the only upsets of the night was Sean Penn winning over Mickey Rourke. I think Mickey really wanted that award, but I don't think that Mickey felt he deserved it. Sean Penn always seems like he has a sense of arrogance.
Of the performance aspects of the night, I thought Hugh Jackman was a good host. He wasn't a comedian, I would have rather had Ricky Gervais or even Conan O'Brien. But the Recession musical at the beginning was good. Jackman knows how to entertain a crowd. But the lack of humor throughout the night made Tina Fey, Steve Martin, and Ben Stiller funnier. I really enjoyed the Pineapple Express minifilm. One of the more interesting changes was how the awards were presented. Instead of last year's Best Supporting Actor giving out the award for Best Supporting Actress, five former Best Supporting Actresses did. That allowed us to see Chris Walken's horrible haircut that looked like a baby Koala Bear was attached to the base of his head. It also allowed Robert DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Hopkins and Micheal Douglas to share the same stage with a very misplaced and awkward Adrian Brody. But one of the best shots of the night was Mickey Rourke with Edward Cullen on his left and Tina Fey on his right.

LOST-2-18-316

What I like about Lost is that just when you think you've got it, it throw in one of those episodes where you go: Wait, what?
So the Oceanic Six need to go back to the Island and what helps them do that? Daniel's mom and giant Pendulum in a Dharma station under a Los Angeles church. Of course Jack is on board and he is in possession of Locke's body(who is now wearing Christian's shoes.) Something has happened to Aaron and now Kate is on board. Sun comes to the airport not seeming to worried about her baby in Korea. Hurley has somehow gotten out of jail, has a guitar, and is reading a copy of Y the Last Man (Whose author Brian K. Vaughn is a writer on the show.) And somehow Sayid is under arrest and also on the flight. Oh, and whose driving this plane to Guam, a clean shaven Frank Lapidous. At the last minute a bruised and bloodied Ben rushes on to the plane. He said that before he left he had to fulfill a promise to an old friend which I believe was supposed to be killing Penny. Looks like he didn't make it that far. There is a blinding white flash, Jack, Kate, and Hurley find themselves on the Island, and then a Dharma van drives up and out comes Jin, in a Dharma uniform.
Here's one problem I have. Mrs. Hawking made it seem that the Island is constantly moving. But if that is the case, how could the Freighter have found it? How could Micheal get back to the states after following the proper coordinates? How could Alpert and Mr. Friendly make trips back to the states to talk to Juliet/Locke/Micheal? And if the Island is constantly moving through time, how could the Arrow station with the video cameras work? How could been have footage of the 2004 World Series?

• What has happened to Aaron and where is he?
• Why did Sayid get arrested and why is Hurley out of jail with full knowledge of the way back to the Island?
• Who beat the hell out of Ben?
• Where are the other castaways after the plane crash, and did the plane crash? Will we soon see Ben, Sun, Sayid, Lapidus, and maybe that Arab guy on the Island?
• What year is the Island on, and why is Jin working for Dharma? Is it the same reason Faraday was with Dharma in the season premier?

One thing that the constant shifting through time would explain is the food Dharma food drop off in the earlier seasons.

And one thing Erin Knoble pointed out to me is that in the Lighthouse there was a series of numbers counting down similar to the one in the hatch. Could there be other hatches around the world? And is that why that man in the institution was repeating the numbers?

My Ideal Finale Episode of Late Night

This Friday is the finale episode of Late Night with Conan OBrien.

Of course Conan will be taking over as the host of the Tonight Show, but it will not be the same as the current Late Show. I have put together a finale I think will be worthy of Conan’s last fifteen years on Late Night.

It starts out with a play on his first opening scene where he sits on a bench and leans over telling someone that it is his last show and then ends up leading a crowd down the street. The crowd then gets distracted by David Lee Roth.

Conan comes out to do his monologue. He jumps around the stage, purrs like a cat, and does the string dance. He says that it is going to be a good show tonight, that he says that every night, but tonight he is telling the truth. Instead of doing jokes about recent events, he reflects on the last fifteen years. He jokes about how he was not a good host at the beginning. He says something offensive and leads the audience in, “I’ma gonna go to Hell when I die, (clap clap).” He brings out the a parade of the best of the Late Night Characters: Pimpbot 5000, Coked-up Werewolf, Preparation H Raymond, Masturbating Bear, Vomiting Kermit, Jewbacca, Evil Puppy, Peirre Bernard’s Recliner of Rage, the World’s Fastest Baby Jesus, Raccoon with a jetpack, the worlds tallest dachshund, the FedEx Pope, and a final moment with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Then, Frankenstein will waste a minute of our time.

Conan will decide to look into the future and the surprise guest will be Andy Richtor. Andy then stays on to be the first quest. They reminisce about the show and then take the desk for a drive.

The second guest is Al Roker, who makes a comment about how many times he has been on the show. Mr. T also comes out during the interview. Abe Vigoda and James Lipton also make cameo appearances.

The musical guest is Radiohead who plays Creep(the first musical guest)

Conan then thanks the writers and crew as the band, Joel, Andy, and all the characters join him on stage.

LOST-2/11-This Place is Death

With Rousseau and her science expedition team comes the return of the Smoke Monster. Like always we don't learn anything new about the monster, but we do know that it was what caused the severing of Montand's arm. And that it lives under a temple. I'm hoping that Charlotte's death in this episode is final. I have never been a fan of hers.
But one of the more interesting happenings of this episode is Christian Shepard. Is Christian Jacob? He lives in Jacob's Cabin. He gives Locke orders with authority. He knows what he is doing with the Island. One of my theories since season one is has been Christian is the leader of the Others, and the show really does nothing to disprove it.
Another theory of mine is that Charlotte's father is Horace Godspeed.
And the big reveal this week wasn't all that big. It was pretty safe to assume that Mrs. Hawking was Faraday's mom. (Did anyone notice that her full name is Eloise Hawking, and the time traveling rat's name was Eloise.) I am excited to see how they find the Island.

• Does Locke leaving stop the time traveling, or just the Constant Sickness?
• Does Frank Lapidus have to go back to the Island too?
• Will Locke's leg heal as he leaves the Island?

LOST-2/4-The Little Prince

I have a theory about the "Nose-Bleed-Constant-Sickness", but it might have some faults. First, Desmond gets the constant sickness when leaving the island last season, and it was cured by finding a constant within Penny. Now, Charlotte has the constant sickness, Miles had a nose bleed, and Juliet had a nose bleed. Okay, so my theory is that the time you get the sickness depends on the length of time you lived on the Island. Desmond had lived on the Island for three years, Juliet came to the island around 2002. Desmond landed on the island around 2001. He started the sickness right after starting the time travel. Juliet is just starting to get it.
Now, that leaves Miles and Charlotte. Charlotte stated at the end of the last season that she always wondered where she came from, suggesting she came from the island. Miles has shown no signs that he is from the island, but Locke said something to him suggesting he was. Now, Miles is Asian, and Marvin Candle is Asian, and we saw that Marvin Candle had a baby on the island in the the first episode of this season. Could Miles be the son of Marvin Candle? He has a psychic power, maybe the power stems from the island.
Now the flaw with that theory is Minikowski. Minikowski had the constant sickness on the freighter and it killed him. But, Minikowski might have been an Other at one point. Maybe we will run into him while the Castaways are floating around time as an Other.

• What happens to Bernard, Rose, and Vincent when the time changes. When the time changed to Aaron's birth, did They run into each other from the past, or do they hide out, or are they at some different point on the island.
• How does Sawyer's gun travel through time with them?
• Who brought the canoes to the island?
• I want to go back and see if there is any time that Rousseau gave Jin a "you look familiar" look.
• Rousseau had sad her crew was taken out by a sickness. What kind of sickness was it, and will the castaways witness this.
• Is Widmore sending the assassins to take down the Oceanic 6?